Are you a Master or Slave?

Life Lesson Topic: Are you a Master or Slave?

Description:

Human beings are naturally emotional.  We all pass through positive and negative emotions in our life.  We pass through so called negative emotions like blaming others, rude behaviour, getting upset over petty things, impatience, angry, anxiety, worry etc. and positive emotions like love, feeling good, happiness, patience, adjustment, strength etc. Each and every event in our life present us situations that come up with a test – Are you a Master or Slave to a particular situation?  Some times we become slaves to our emotions and other times we become master of the emotions.

Intent:

To motivate students for preparation to be a Master of his emotions

To motivate students to acquire positive emotions like love,

gratitude, happiness etc.

To help the student to be aware of the negative emotions

To enable him deal with others negative emotions 

Questions:

• Have you ever seen any one in your family or friends circle as Master of a situation in his life? When? Can you share?
• Many times in our lives when we face trying situations we stumble and succumb to a situation and thus become a slave to an emotion. How to handle such situations?
• When does one become a master and a slave?

Life Lesson:

In emotional intelligence, there is a life lesson. Giver of an emotion has got no choice whereas receiver has choice.  Here giver is one who speaks angry words or insults us in many ways.  Receiver is you.  It is your freedom to accept or not to accept what giver has given you through his scolding or insult.  Giver never decides and Receiver always decides.  Are you a giver or a receiver? Again are you a Slave or a Master?

Situations:

 (Following situations are given as clues for students to think and explore from their lives)

• A cricket match was going on.  A fielder missed an important catch.  When many fielders scolded him for the lapse, the captain approached the fielder with poise. The captain cheered him and patted him on the back and encouraged him, ‘Don’t bother you will be a great player’!  Afterwards that fielder played a remarkable game.  Who is the master?

• Priya was an IX std student.  She loved to watch Chutti TV (a children channel).  On a particular day, some guests were coming to Priya’s house.  As soon as Priya reached home from school, she started changing the TV channel and immersed in the program.  Priya’s mother called her again and again.  Priya did not respond.  Priya’s mother came from the kitchen and scolded Priya.  Priya got furious and threw the remote on the floor and closed the door.  Was Priya master or slave?

  

• Arun and Karthik were friends.  When they were playing tennis they got into quarrel on the issue of scores. Karthik claimed that he scored higher points. Arun got angry and slapped Karthik.  Who is the master?

• One day Asha went to her college late.  Usually she would sit in the front row but when she reached it was filled.  She did not like to sit alone in the last row so she called her friend Priya who was sitting in the front row. Priya was busy talking with her friends. She was waiting for a long time but she never turned up.  Professor arrived and class started.  Asha got angry and her mind started to fuming, ‘how many ways she had helped her, see how she behaves now!’  Hereafter I should not talk to her.  Now her mind asked her, ‘Do you want to be a Master or a Slave now?  If you want to be a Master, move on with Priya normally.  If you want to be a Slave you can get angry and stop talking with her’. Then she decided to be a Master of the situation.  When Priya came and asked sorry, she smiled and moved with her cordially.

• One day Kala’s elder sister Krithika got angry with Kala for not listening to her words.  When her friend Malathy came to their house, Krithika started blaming Kala.  Kala got upset and stopped talking with Krithika.  However, Kala tried she was not able to talk to Krithika and one week  passed.  Kala decided to be a Master of the situation.  She now started helping her sister Krithika.

 Activity: Role plays idea:

1. Kumar is senior computer programmer and very proficient. He is also friendly and helpful to his juniors. Ganesh, a junior colleague wanted to clear some doubt in programming and requested Kumar’s help.  Kumar asked him to come to his house on Sunday at 10 am.  Ganesh is living 10 km away from Kumar’s house.  Ganesh traveled by bus in rush and reached Kumar’s house only to find the door is locked.  Ganesh called Kumar’s mobile several times but received no answer.

2. If teacher scold you or your parent scold you or your friend scold you.       

What you do?  Will you also shout back? Or feel sad?

3. If your wants are not met you get upset and deny food

Students can devise role plays depicting a situation where one can raise oneself as Master of himself.

Inner Torch Light

Life Lesson: Inner Torch light

Description:

The Light signifies wisdom which would consistently remove darkness. We do right actions and some times we make mistakes and then repent for our failures. In this topic, we have taken torch light as a simile. Torch light signifies our Buddhi (discriminatory Intellect) which direct us to discriminate between right and wrong action. 

  

Intent:

• To identify and realize one’s own short comings, limitations and mistakes
• To be conscious and taking up responsibility for one’s own actions
• To be alert in our day to day actions and situations
• Introspecting the actions or mistakes done and converting the same into strengths
• To understand what is best for us and others 
• In short, be the change you want to see by keeping the torch light ‘ON

Life Lesson:

Though we all have our inner torch light with us, many times it goes ‘Off’.  When our torch light is ‘off’ we do either mistakes or not realizing it or refuse to rectify it or justify it or even blame others for our faults. When our torch light is ‘on’ we realize our position as it is and readily accept it, repent for it and willing to rectify it. It is a usual practice in our households when we make mistakes again and again, our elders used scold us – ‘buddhi kettu pochcha’(Is your intellect gone!) This topic enables us to explore and have right understanding of our mind. Quite often we hear, ‘I know I should not do it but I have done it.’ This is exactly because of our torch light is OFF.  If our torch light is ‘ON’ we will analyze and get the needed clarity over ‘why I should not do’ and ‘what happens if I do’ etc.

  

Questions:

·         Do we have the habit of looking back how better we could have performed a particular action or our reaction to a situation?

·         When our torch light is ‘OFF’ and when it is ‘ON’?

·         What is the benefit of keeping our torch light always ‘ON’?

·         We have the following options:

Immediately blaming others when something goes wrong or

hinking with an open mind how to set the situation right?

     Which option you want to choose?

Situations:

(Some of the clues are given by a Facilitator to students to think and explore themselves)

• One day I kept water in the gas and went to my room to work in the computer. The water started boiling very hot. My brother noticed the boiling water and turned the gas off.  At that time my torch light was OFF. Then, he told me that he would tie a hanky around his wrist whenever he keeps something on the stove for it would remind him to check every now and then. His suggestion was accepted - torch light ON.
• In TV, both useful and general programs are telecasted, if we spend much time in watching general programs which are not much useful, our torch light is OFF. If we watch only useful programs, our torch light is ON.

• One day I came late to school, the Teacher scolded me. I told the teacher that my mother took time to prepare lunch for me and so I came late. But actually I got up late in the morning.  My torch light was OFF. If I could have told the real reason, my torch light was ON.

• When some body scribbles in the currency note and say there is nothing wrong in it, his torch light is OFF and if say, I will not do it hereafter, then torch light is ON.

• When some body burns the rubber and plastic articles without realizing that it would pollute the environment. The torch light is OFF.

• When the class is going on.  I was talking with my friend.  Teacher asked why you are talking.  I told I am asking a doubt in the lesson.  My torch light was OFF.
• When I tell excuses for not doing my home work. My torch light was OFF.
• When I do not see the red signal on the road and cross it. My torch light was OFF.
• When I overtake the other person’s vehicle without caring the rules of the road. My torch light was OFF.

Put on your Inner Torchlight:

Keeping torch light always ‘ON’ (Some clues)

·         Be positive

·         Be aware and alert

·         Think before you speak

·         Accept the mistake and be determined not repeating it.

  

Activity: Role plays ideas

• When the class is going on.  Student was talking with his friend.  When teacher asked why you are talking? Student said,  ‘I am asking a doubt in the lesson’. 
• When a student tells excuses for not doing my home work.
• When a person does not see the red signal on the road and cross it.
• When a person overtakes the other person’s vehicle without caring the rules of the road.

Best Friend Worst Enemy

Life Lesson Topic: Our best friend and worst enemy

Description:

In day to day life, some of us have our best friends and enemies as well.  But the fact is, the real friend or enemy is not outside of us but inside. Our mind functions sometimes as our best friend or some other time as our worst enemy under the influence of circumstances.  If we run after the fancy of the mind and do whatever it demands, our mind becomes our worst enemy.  If we encourage the mind to think in the right direction and regulate it’s functioning, our mind becomes our best friend. 

Intent:

• To know the difference when our mind functions as a friend or enemy
• To encourage students to train their mind as a best friend
• To make conscious effort every day to achieve this purpose
• If mind acts according to my dictates then it is my friend
• If I act according to the dictates of my mind then it is my enemy

Example: Some persons involved in corrupt practices out of greed – their minds are their worst enemy.  People living a conscientious life at individual level, professional level, family level and social level – their minds are their best friend. 

Question:

When our mind turns into our worst enemy?

When our mind becomes our best friend?

What can we do to always befriend our mind?

What kind of practices is required in our daily life? 

Situation: 

Worst enemy:

(We have to provide some of the following clues to the students to enable them to think and express their views on the topic)

Þ    I want to study well to get good marks but I could not do so and my mind is wandering. 

Þ    At home my Dad and Mum scold me often and I argue with them.  I don’t want to argue.  But I could not do so.

Þ    I fought with my friend and I stopped talking with my friend.  After a few days my friend wanted to talk to me.  But I could not do so.

Þ    My friend calls me by nick name and mock at me.  I wanted to ignore his comments and don’t wish to take it serious.  But I could not do so.

Þ    I get amused when I tease my friends.  Some of them feel offended.  Some times I feel I should not hurt my friends’ feelings.  But I could not do so.

Þ    I am advised not to eat Ice cream and chocolates more. But I could not stop doing it when I get it.

Þ    Elders at home always give me useful advice.  I don’t give any heed to them though I want to follow some of them.

Þ    When we waste our time in gossiping and roaming during exam time.

Þ    When I expect flattery from others and do things to get others attention, my mind works as an enemy.

Best Friend: 

Þ    When my mind tempts me to go in wrong ways like smoking, drinking etc. and my mind says firm ‘No’, then it becomes my best friend.

Þ    When my friends tease me and make fun of me and my mind wants to  react sharply, I counsel my mind, after all they are my friends, don’t take them seriously. Then my mind is my friend.

Þ    Once upon a time my uncle gave lots of troubles to our family.  Many times I have seen my mother in tears.  One year back my uncle passed away with heart attack.  His family is now in dire circumstances.  My mother has started doing all kinds of help to my uncle’s family.  Now I can say my mother’s mind is her best friend.  I am also supporting my mother.

Þ    When every one of us leaves the class room, I will wait and switch off the light and fan.

Þ    When I am courageous my mind becomes best friend.

Þ    I talked with my friend casually who betrayed me to the teacher the other day.

Þ    When I am true to my friends my mind becomes best friend.

Life Lesson:

Direction and regulation is the key to make the mind our best friend.  In order to make the mind our best friend we need to adopt certain practices at specific times every day on a regular basis.  It may be breathing exercises or regular meditation or prayer according to our faith and family tradition.  Life teaches us hard lessons through hard way when we miss simple lessons it teaches through a soft way.  If we wish to lead a purposeful life, as a first step it is necessary to take conscious effort to save our life from the clutches of worst enemy, the undisciplined and unregulated mind. 

Roles play ideas:

Place: Class room

Scene 1 : Prem is busy drawing some sketches while science subject is going on. Next day when teacher asked him questions on the lesson, he could not answer.

Scene 2 : Prem is busy drawing some sketches with interest when science teacher enters he stops doing it and starts listening attentively.

A student collects funds for Orphanage and using it for selfish reason.

He hands over the collected money with enthusiasm.

If we skip the meals in anger because Amma is scolding – our mind is enemy

If we analyse the truth of Amma’s words – our mind is best friend

When students are fighting in favour of Cinema stars like Vijay, Surya, who is greater – mind is enemy. When we try to follow the great ones like Kalam, Vivekananda – Friend

90-10 Principle

Life Lesson - 90-10 Principle

Description

• It is the ability to handle any situation without getting ruffled.
• This can be used in almost every situation in life, anywhere, everywhere and with anyone.
• It helps us to change a problematic situation into manageable situation.

Intent

• Exploring the possibility of 90/10 Principle – responding to a situation and not reacting to a situation.
• Apply this principle and avoid undeserved stress, trials, problems, and headache.
• We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.  The other 90% is different. We determine the other 90%!

  

Life Lesson: 90/10 Principle

You’re eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed zone.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because the way you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the Policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time.” Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both

In any given situation reactions may go like a chain of reactions and response always ends with positive and peaceful.

Questions:

1. In a situation, when provoked what do you do?

2. What makes you to react in a situation?

3. Have you ever felt that a day was particularly a very bad day?

4. Can you share experiences where you had responded instead of reacting?

Situations:

1. Your mother asks you to go to the market. But you want to study. So you refuse to go. Your mother scolds you very badly. You get extremely angry. But still you ignore your anger and go to the market.
2. Your family is going on a tour. The van breaks down on the way. Every one is disappointed. The van cleaner walks down to the nearby town and brings a mechanic. The van gets repaired and you continue the journey.

3. Three people decide to take an auto to central station. One of them calls for an auto, but does not bargain the amount. All the three of them reach central. The auto driver charges 20 rupees more. The person who paid feels cheated and gets extremely angry and shouts at the driver.
4. A person travels to a new place. While returning the person is alone. And the train ticket is not yet confirmed.

       

Students’ responses (some examples)

1.      Action: Not studying the lessons as told by the teacher

Reaction 1: teacher’s anger Reaction 2: student’s remorse, insult and anger

Response: understanding that and reading the lessons the next time.

2.  Action: mother doesn’t cook food well

     Reaction 1: daughter gets angry.  Reaction 2: mother feels bad

            Response: father pacifies and arranges alternative food

3. Action: not taking pen to the exam Reaction 1:  tension, reaction 2: she forgets answers to some questions Response: teacher gives her a pen. She writes the exam well. 
4. Employer scolding the employee for his mistake - Action, Employee getting angry at employer – Reaction 1, Employer getting upset and scold – Reaction 2, Employer takes revenge – Reaction 3, Keeping quiet and realizing the mistake accepts it and does work rightly – Response

5. Taking poor marks in the exam – Action, Dad scolding – Reaction 1, Your weeping – Reaction 2, Mother upset – Reaction 3, Assuring Dad and resolving to take high marks and systematically work hard for it – Response

6. Going to school late – Action, Teacher scolding – Reaction 1, You get upset – reaction 2, Preparing and going punctually from next day onwards – Response

7. Copying in the exam – Action, Teacher scolding for it – Reaction 1, Get punishment – reaction 2, Ask sorry and realizing the mistake and study well – Response

8. Hitting of car – Action, Driver angry – Reaction 1, Fight start with the exchange of abuses – reaction 2, Going by compromise and finding settlement – response

9. Watering plant – Action Growing of tree – Reaction Bearing fruits – Response

   

10. Watching TV – Action, Parent scolding – Reaction 1, Ignoring the advice result in wearing optical – Reaction 2, Controlling and watching select program in TV is Response

     

Activity: Role play concept

Scene 1

Morning 6’ o clock, newspaper arrives. The brother and sister in a house fights with each other as to who will read the paper first. Both of them pull the paper and it gets torn. Father shouts at them.

Scene 2

Both of them fight for the newspaper.  The brother suggests that they can share some pages and read.

Four Seasons

Life Lesson: Four seasons

Description:

Just like there are four seasons, there are four lessons that are crucial to our life. The four seasons are silently teaching these lessons. By becoming aware of them, learning them, and applying them in our existence, there is no doubt it enable us to craft a very fulfilling life.

Intent:

To understand different phases of changing life

To prepare one self to face the changing situations

To equip oneself and to avoid future troubles

Life Lesson: Four seasons:

Handle the winters:
Every year, winter comes. It always comes. We deal with it by preparing for it. Whether it’s changing our clothing or changing our way of life, we always get ready for winter; because we know it’s coming. The same applies to our life. Rough times WILL come. No life goes smoothly without a problem from beginning to end. Thus, we have to be ready for it, for when it does come, we are not stuck in the cold without a coat. Be ready to handle the winters in our own life.

Take advantage of the spring:
Every year, after a long winter, comes the spring. This is a time where opportunities arise. Flowers blossom and creatures come out of their hibernation. The same thing applies within our life. After a challenging time, we will be faced with a great opportunity. It is our duty to take full advantage of the springs when they pop up. This is our moment to plant the seeds of greatness to come. We never see all the beauty that is life and nature on this planet decide not to awaken one year in the spring! It does because it is meant to do so. Hold our own existence to that same standard. Make our springs the springboard to getting where we want to go.

Protect our summer:
After having planted our seeds in the spring, soon the summer will come. This is a time where we can reap the benefits of our crops. As well as being a time of joy and comfort, it is also a time to be careful.  There is a saying, “all good will be attacked”. If we are not careful, our crops will be either stolen, destroyed, or spoiled. Therefore we must do whatever it takes to protect our crops. Once we have achieved something in our life, we must defend it. We must stand up for it, and protect its value. Otherwise we may find ourselves losing it.

Take responsibility in the fall:
As the autumn comes, the trees change color, lose their leaves, and the weather gets cooler. As we gear up for another winter, it is the best time to take full responsibility of what happened in the previous seasons, both good and bad. This is the time where we can open ourselves to learning the lessons that the previous seasons taught us and put everything into perspective. They say that the fall is the time of the year where there is more depression than any other time. This is due to people not taking such responsibilities and learning from previous successes and/or mistakes. Only by doing so can we be ready once more to handle another winter that is coming and plan for the following spring & summer.

  

Questions:

What are the four seasons in our life?

How good we are in our planning to handle seasons of life?

What would happen if we are not prepared?

What are the seasons our family passed through in the past?

Have we noticed 4 seasons from our friends and relatives life?

There is a saying – Prevention is better than cure; Can we relate 4 seasons with this?

Role play concept:

Scene I : Not doing what is need to be done in each season

Scene 2 : Exactly doing what has to be done

Highlight the moral of the play

Creative Drawing:

Draw four seasons connecting various phases of our life.

Are you listening to Stomach and Tongue?

Life lessons – Are you listening to Stomach and Tongue?

Description:  We are what we eat. Mental clarity and mental toughness were directly related to the nature of one’s diet.  We should eat to survive instead of living to eat. As in, we should value life more than food.  We need to eat food that keeps us healthy; we should ensure food does not become our obsession or addiction. By transforming our diet, we can dramatically reshape our body, moods, energy levels and overall vitality.  All our academic excellence and self improvement techniques will not help us if we do not have the energy and health to apply and excel with them. With proper and thoughtful nutrition, we will have the longevity and ability to achieve our dreams. 

Intent: To understand golden rule - ‘Eat to live and don’t live to eat.

To be conscious of suitability of intake according to one’s bodily needs

            To understand the transient nature of taste

Caring for stomach over tongue

Life lesson: Recently my friend Arun went to Bangalore stayed in a Hotel.  After the day’s work he went to a shopping Mall.  On his return he had seen a small American corn outlet and naturally a desire arose in his mind to have a taste of it. He approached the corn shop. The shop boy asked whether he prefers Rs.15/- cup or R.20/- or Rs.30/- cup?  He preferred Rs.30/- cup as he wants to have more. The boy again asked him whether he prefers with masala or without. He said, with masala.  Arun’s stomach felt semi full.  He had tasted a full cup of corn.  When coming out Arun entered a nearby hotel and it was then past 8 pm, his dinner time.  On looking at the menu list, he ordered onion rava dosa. It took some time for the hotel to prepare the rava dosa and he waited patiently with an eagerness to have a taste of it.  When it was served, it did not taste as expected.  As he had the policy of not wasting food, he ate full dosa.  On coming out he bought a yellow banana after sometime he ate it thinking that it would help digestion.  He went to sleep. Suddenly he got disturbed at 3 am and felt some uneasiness in stomach.  He felt vomiting sensation and vomited to see entire rava dosa came out. His digestion parts struggled for more than seven hours to digest the oily rava dasa and at last lost in the battle.  Strenuous effort to vomit had taken the toll of his throat also. He was in difficulty to swallow anything.  The next day was horrible one for Arun.  He became austere for the whole day.  Most delicious food could not tempt him.

Questions:

1. Do you have any such experience in your life?
2. What should be our approach towards food?
3. Should we allow food an obsession or addiction in our life?
4. Why we are not caring for stomach’s alarm and hasten to fulfill the slightest command of the tongue?
5. Why are not able to resist the temptation of taste? What should we do?
6. Is it possible to take what is good for health though it has less in taste?
7. Do all people go to hotels to meet the needs of stomach or tongue?
8. Can we cultivate enough courage to say ‘No’ to tongue?
9. What are the life lessons we can learn from the above incident?

Role plays concepts:

1. Debate between stomach and tongue (enacting the parts of stomach and tongue)

2. Scene No.1 – Unable to resist the delicious food and succumbing to the temptation of tongue

     Scene No.2 – Overcoming the temptation

3. Scene No.1 – Going after tongue’s sound dictates

     Scene No.2 – Listening to the small voice of stomach

Analyze and Explore:

The most powerful animals the elephant, rhino and gorilla (which has thirty times a man’s strength) all survive on vegetables or fruits.

One Minute Talk:

Junk food and Nutritional food

Creative Drawing:

Food habits – positive and negative effects 

Idhaya Kalvi

Idhaya Kalvi

Idhaya Kalvi (Education for heart) is a simple way of kindling goodness in the hearts of students through lessons we come across in every day life. It is a journey of understanding and accepting oneself, both pluses and minuses. The topics are categorized as Life Lessons to facilitate for ready application in every day life situations.  This can be used for Value Education class, Moral science class and Life skills class in schools.

The uniqueness of Idhaya Kalvi is that it at once connects every  heart and make him/her explore and learn the lessons which life presents to them in a more practical way.  The topics are derived through life experiences at every event or situation and application oriented. These topics are suitable for all standards  starting from middle school, high school, higher secondary schools. The reply and imbibing of the topics varies according to age and experience of the students. These topics have been designed suited to the delivery of facilitation approach, a non-teaching technique.

Idhaya Kalvi is inspired by the Living Values Program of VSET (www.vset.org).