90-10 Principle

Life Lesson - 90-10 Principle

Description

• It is the ability to handle any situation without getting ruffled.
• This can be used in almost every situation in life, anywhere, everywhere and with anyone.
• It helps us to change a problematic situation into manageable situation.

Intent

• Exploring the possibility of 90/10 Principle – responding to a situation and not reacting to a situation.
• Apply this principle and avoid undeserved stress, trials, problems, and headache.
• We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.  The other 90% is different. We determine the other 90%!

  

Life Lesson: 90/10 Principle

You’re eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed zone.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because the way you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the Policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time.” Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both

In any given situation reactions may go like a chain of reactions and response always ends with positive and peaceful.

Questions:

1. In a situation, when provoked what do you do?

2. What makes you to react in a situation?

3. Have you ever felt that a day was particularly a very bad day?

4. Can you share experiences where you had responded instead of reacting?

Situations:

1. Your mother asks you to go to the market. But you want to study. So you refuse to go. Your mother scolds you very badly. You get extremely angry. But still you ignore your anger and go to the market.
2. Your family is going on a tour. The van breaks down on the way. Every one is disappointed. The van cleaner walks down to the nearby town and brings a mechanic. The van gets repaired and you continue the journey.

3. Three people decide to take an auto to central station. One of them calls for an auto, but does not bargain the amount. All the three of them reach central. The auto driver charges 20 rupees more. The person who paid feels cheated and gets extremely angry and shouts at the driver.
4. A person travels to a new place. While returning the person is alone. And the train ticket is not yet confirmed.

       

Students’ responses (some examples)

1.      Action: Not studying the lessons as told by the teacher

Reaction 1: teacher’s anger Reaction 2: student’s remorse, insult and anger

Response: understanding that and reading the lessons the next time.

2.  Action: mother doesn’t cook food well

     Reaction 1: daughter gets angry.  Reaction 2: mother feels bad

            Response: father pacifies and arranges alternative food

3. Action: not taking pen to the exam Reaction 1:  tension, reaction 2: she forgets answers to some questions Response: teacher gives her a pen. She writes the exam well. 
4. Employer scolding the employee for his mistake - Action, Employee getting angry at employer – Reaction 1, Employer getting upset and scold – Reaction 2, Employer takes revenge – Reaction 3, Keeping quiet and realizing the mistake accepts it and does work rightly – Response

5. Taking poor marks in the exam – Action, Dad scolding – Reaction 1, Your weeping – Reaction 2, Mother upset – Reaction 3, Assuring Dad and resolving to take high marks and systematically work hard for it – Response

6. Going to school late – Action, Teacher scolding – Reaction 1, You get upset – reaction 2, Preparing and going punctually from next day onwards – Response

7. Copying in the exam – Action, Teacher scolding for it – Reaction 1, Get punishment – reaction 2, Ask sorry and realizing the mistake and study well – Response

8. Hitting of car – Action, Driver angry – Reaction 1, Fight start with the exchange of abuses – reaction 2, Going by compromise and finding settlement – response

9. Watering plant – Action Growing of tree – Reaction Bearing fruits – Response

   

10. Watching TV – Action, Parent scolding – Reaction 1, Ignoring the advice result in wearing optical – Reaction 2, Controlling and watching select program in TV is Response

     

Activity: Role play concept

Scene 1

Morning 6’ o clock, newspaper arrives. The brother and sister in a house fights with each other as to who will read the paper first. Both of them pull the paper and it gets torn. Father shouts at them.

Scene 2

Both of them fight for the newspaper.  The brother suggests that they can share some pages and read.